Loss & Life

It’s been 10 days since Honey has left this Earth to go to kitty heaven, a place, I am told by friends, is chock full of catnip and free of physical pain. I know she is no longer in pain, and I am truly happy about that, but my heart still aches for her. Often I look for her here at home—out of habit—and then I remember, she is gone. This happens a lot.

I have been going through many emotions; sadness, guilt, loneliness, confusion, and happiness. Yes I said happiness. Happiness because, like I said before, she is no longer in pain, (I had been worried about her suffering since her heart disease diagnosis in February), and happiness also because of my good memories of her and the loving support I have received from family and friends.

I have received numerous emails and cards of condolences. Today I received a beautiful card and the image of the kitty on the front looks exactly like Honey. One of my first thoughts, after looking at this card, was that I needed to display it in a safe spot so it doesn’t get shredded. But then I remembered: Honey and her habit of shredding paper are gone forever.

The worst part of everything, well okay not the worst part—the worst is her just not being here—but the ‘other’ worst part is the analyzing. I have analyzed the days before June 7. I wonder, on one of those days ‘did I forget her pill?’ For the record I was good at pilling her every morning, it became synonymous with brushing my teeth, but there are moments here when I have convinced myself that I screwed up. It’s horrible. I wonder if I had rushed her in the minute I thought she was just acting a little lazy from the heat, would she still be here?

But alas, she had heart disease, the end would have been the same no matter what, it was just a matter of time. My Honey had a good life; I know that through and through. I can feel her spirit hanging with me, assuring me she is happy and felt very loved, but she really misses me too.

Where there is death, there is life.....

On a much cheerier and quite interesting note, on June 14, exactly one week from the day Honey passed, I discovered a bit of life on my back porch. Near my 'tropical garden', on the floor of the deck, is an empty planter that has been turned into a nest for a newly expectant pigeon couple.

After a little research I discovered pigeons mate for life and both help in rearing the egg incubation period.

The male will tend to the egg early morning til mid afternoon and the mother will be there from late afternoon throughout the evening. I have named this pigeon couple Penny and Desmond.

Today I discovered something even more exciting than Saturday’s news. There’s a second egg! I will be documenting this of course, for all to see!