Meowy Christmas

Hey everyone!!! Just a quick note to say Happy Holidays!

AND to plug in a little note to let you know about all the loving creatures that need safe, loving homes this holiday season and beyond!!! If you're thinking of adopting a pet there are SO MANY loving creatures that need your home, love, and attention. And the best thing? They will return all that and much more to you throughout your life!!!

So go to your local Humane Society, AND the pound! Or check out these two great shelters:

Chicago
http://www.furryfriendsfoundation.com/index.htm

Minneapolis
http://www.felinerescue.org/

THANK YOU

Kisses from Honey and Jolene

It's been almost a month

hey-ya

Okay to my three loyal fans...and others that may loom around, I do so apologize for not writing sooner... I have been a busy girl...I've been working a ton at the Duke...when I am not there then I'm at the Improv Kitchen performing my little heart out..... both places are driving me CRAZY right now.... I feel like I am being taken advantage by both at the same time... we lost a waitress at The Duke and instead of hiring someone now, the manager has decided to wait until after the holidays.... so guess who's covering a bunch of the shifts? And to top it off I'm already working doubles on Saturdays! Geez they even ask me to skip class at Second City for them...and I almost say "Oh sure! Of course!" (Is that the Minnesotan in me?) But then I remeber why I'm here and it's NOT to work in a stinky old Scottish pub!

The Kitchen on the other hand is cutting our performance pay come January. However what I initially thought was a horrid turn of events, I realize now could be ok... I saw the "B" group's late show the other day and was inspired. You see the ensembled paid members (I'm one of them) have been asked to sign new contracts in Jan and create a show with total artisitic freedom. Well without going into great detail suffice it to say there is amazing potential to create something great. Since everything is done through the television studios and we have access to tech and film crews, we can create an interativce, funky and almost Mtv-ish like show, part of it will already be filmed and part will be the interacting through the Tv Screens to the audience and of course we also have the green screen studio, (Drew Carey eat your gravy-laden heart out) So while I was initally insulted to lose the money I'm actually cool with it, we'll at least get a cut of the house and the contract will only be for six weeks of my life. Anyway you'd all better come for it, we are planning a Valentine's show, three women, one man, PURE INSANITY!

In other Improv Kitchen news, The Chicago Reader (For you Minnesotans, the Reader is equivalent to Citypages, but MUCH MUCH MUCH bigger) was at last Saturday's performance to review us. There were only three of us performing and I was the only girl. I was sick scared... the article should be out this week and I feel REALLY nervous because he asked for the spellings of our names, so he may say something... The improv community is INTENSE here and everyone reads about everyone. A few months ago three magazine-type television programs in Chicago came to tape us and interview us for their shows and for a brief moment I was all over Chicago TV!!!!!! (There goes my 15 minutes, wait I think it probably totaled like 9 minutes, so I still have, um wait I need a calculator, oh okay I still have 7 minutes left, I mean 6, I have six minutes left!) Okay so my point is that when I went to SC for class during this time one of my old teachers was like "Hey saw you all over the TV...."
Soooooooooooooo, okay okay my actual real point is if the Reader trashes me I can never work in this town again, insert throw-up emoti-con guy in theory here....huh?

But alas I am doing my Level 5 show at the Second City Etc. Stage on Monday nights. Oh it's the best thing. We are only up for 45 minutes, but it's just the best! I want to be there forever, on the stage, in the lights...I don’t want to have to work anymore, not even to create a show, I just want to perform and perform and be funny and dance..... oh and write, like I'm not aware that I'm doing it....oh and I also want to just do crosswords and pet Honey's 16-pound belly.

Okay well I should be wrapping this up, wait let me think if there is anything else I need to report on.... oh yes! I was finally in my first major motion picture, be on the lookout for Derailed, starring Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen. There will be a PIVITOL scene where Clive runs to a building (where Jen's character lives, I think) anyway he runs down the corridor towards a revolving door and just as he's about to go in he stops to make-out with a beautiful mystery woman with long dark hair and smoldering eyes.... no wait he didn’t do that.... but he almost bumps into this woman ... and that's me!!!!! Oh but I shoudl warn you I am walking towards Clive and the camera is behind me, so it's not like my face will even be in the shot, BUT my hair and ugly gray coat will be! Yay!!!!!
All and all though I was on my first real movie set and it was frickin' cool!

Ciao!
happy holidays
:)

P.S. I will be making appearance in Minneapolis for the Holiday Season, would Looooove to see you!

P.P.S. or is that P.S.S.
Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is my cat Xena and world peace.

It is MY blog!

Okay sooooo check out this fun shoot I did for the Millinery Alliance of Chicago!
http://www.millineryartsalliance.com/

Need more Jolene fun? Check out the Improv Kitchen....
http://www.improvkitchen.com/

OKay I'm off to take my cat on a bus now!

See you at The Polls!

Hey all! Happy Voting Day Election 2004!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!!! Go America!

Well I can tell you these past few months have been horrendous!!! The issues, the decisions, the intensity! After some serious soul searching, thinking and praying I have finally come to my decision. In 2004 I'm voting Kerry!!!!!!

It' s been a hard decision, I mean just last week I was going to vote for Bush, because I've always been a big fan of 90210. I mean I grew up with that television show featuring the lovely and beautiful Bush supporter, Shannen Doherty. But then I thought, "this is a beautiful woman, and she has been fired from two popular television shows and was arrested for a DUI."

And I'm sorry, but I'm against driving drunk, as well as misbehaving on a Hollywood Television Set.

Soooo I started thinking again.... for a while I remained a Bush supporter, because, afterall, Mr. Schwarzenegger did star in Jingle All The Way filmed in my hometown of Minneapolis/St. Paul. And my brother's girlfriend, Emily met him while he was on location there and she said he was really nice.

But then I was concerned again because Arnold did give up a righteous career in film to, um be Mayor of California? No wait I meant to be the Senator of California!!!!

Yep so I was again stumped on what to do! I thought about the Boss and really I'm not a fan.... I mean back in the 80's Bruce did leave his preganant wife for the wild redheaded woman in the E Street Band. What kind of man does that!!!!????

So I spent my nights wide awake, worrying about what to do, but last night I took charge. Before bed I lit a candle and I prayed. I prayed to the Lord....and I said: "Dear God, please send me a sign of who I should vote for this Election term. I need your help. Ms. Doherty's record is blemished, Arnold seeems a bit selfish and the Boss is a cheat.....I no longer know where to turn."

Well low and behold Jesus sent me a sign just this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There on my televisoin was the striking and quite hansome Ashston Kutcher of television's compelling and intensely popular comedy That 70's Show. Ashston was serious and looked into the camera lens, no not posing as he usually does, well maybe just a bit, and he spoke the most magical words...... "Vote Kerry, he's my man. He's caring and he really likes people."

Well I have to say, I couldn't breath for a second. I mean HELLO! I like people too! But more importantly I like Ashston Kutcher!

Yeah and then Kerry was all like "I like Ashston and the Boss, they are respected figures so they make people aware."

WOW!

So in 2004 I vote Kerry because Ashston is really cute and maybe, just maybe, Ashston will notice me. Oh God, he could even ask me on a date.....and then we'll get married and have lots of babies!!!! Oooh Ashston you're sooooooo cool...

Punk me Ashston Punk me!!!!!!!!

Yay! It's the Season of the Darkness!!!

The season of Halloween is upon us! And I am psyched!!!!!
I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

There is no expectation to give a lavish gift, eat Turkey and Cranberry sauce (ugh), get home cheaply AND find someone to look after the cat, and of course play ‘catch-up’ with the fam. “So any dark horses in the running?” Ooooh God, please I’m just trying to get through existing, let’s drop the notion that I’ll ever get married!

Halloween on the other hand requires none of these things! AND it encompasses dressing up, chocolate, dead things, darkness, pumpkins, crispy leaves, ghosts and more! Um, hello! Playing ‘dress-up’ and eating chocolate alone is reason enough to adore this holiday!

But yet it is pretty much the only Americanized holiday that basically celebrates ‘evil.’ NOT that I’m an advocate of evil, hell no! Hi Jesus I love you. I do however enjoy the essence of playful ghosts, vampire legends, true accounts of the occult, strange murders, resulting, of course, in deliciously vibrant hauntings and so forth. Also it is a reminder to us good people why we are good and why we should always remain so!

Okay even if you don’t get into this holiday, can’t you just feel that delicious eeriness flowing through the evening air in late October? And what is great is even the most ‘normal,’ God-fearing-folk get into it. At least here in my ‘Boystown’ neighborhood of Chicago… houses, apartments and condos have dressed-up their lawns with Jack-O-Lanterns, spider webs, skeletons and some damn creepy scenes. Some, I have to admit, even shock me, i.e. dolls strung-up with rope by their necks and hung from trees. Note to those neighbors: If I’m walking alone at night and you’re the only other people awake, please don’t say hello.

So with this season, now in full swing I want to hear ghosts stories, hauntings and frightening tales! This week I am asking friends and co-workers if they believe in the paranormal and if they have had any encounters. Since I have yet to really have a true encounter myself and Damn if I don’t try….. picture me in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I’m standing in the seedy bathroom of a local bar. The door is locked, I am surrounded by broken mirrors, “Um Hello? Can you hear me? Yeah it’s okay come on and show yourself.” Apparently this bathroom was haunted. I never saw a damn ghost, BUT I did get fairly loopy on the establishments lovely ale.

Wait I was saying something else! Oh yes… so I’m all-ears for creepy tales, and ask you, my two faithful readers, to please add your own chilling stories in the comments section of my blog! I would love to hear of any ghostly encounters!

So with that, I will share with you my closest encounter with something freaky. Um be prepared to so not be scared….but everything is 100% true! And I believe probably freaky because of my own imagination playing tricks on me at the time.

The Basement of 3534 Grand Avenue

Back in Minneapolis, I used to live in a brownstone consisting of 13 apartments, I don’t think they have those here in Chicago, here it’s either some new-agey rebuilt piece of junk that encompasses a ‘fancy condo’, or you’re living way up high in the sky. Well my place in Minneapolis was a charming and lovely corner apartment, complete with the old cupboards, china cabinets and moldings. I was attached. Too attached.

I actually think that it owned me. There were a few times that I had these intense dreams that I had moved out and I couldn’t believe it! Why would I leave my perfect apartment? But then I’d wake and be so relieved to see that I was still in the apartment. I swear it would be at that point that in the distance, in some sort of weird realmy world, I could hear a low, wickedly evil laugh, coming from the building itself.

I believed that this building knew me, and enticed me with its charm, but didn’t wish me the best. Upon moving in I was healthy, mentally and physically. Five years later, when moving out I can honestly say I understood depression, anxiety, extreme self-doubt and intense allergies. Okay I know, probably all a coincidence, but I’m telling you I was ‘normal’ before living there and I had a very healthy self-esteem. I was a very messy person moving out and sick all the time. And, ironically many of my allergies have cleared up since moving.

But enough about my health, back to the building: So this brownstone had two levels with six apartments on each level and one apartment in the basement. That apartment, I was told by the landlord, was the site of a suicide, a hanging that had taken place in the back bedroom, I believe to have happened10 years before I moved in. Everyone that lived there was out within a year. These were nice apartments, people stayed, but that particular apartment had a high turnover rate.

Aside from this apartment, the basement also encompasses the laundry room, the fuse box room (what are those called?), the boiler room (insert scary), the landlord’s workroom and two storage rooms---basically there is one long hallway with eight doorways, all with closed doors.

So one breezy, cool summer night…I go down to the basement to retrieve my laundry, and I’m pretty certain that the couple that lives in the basement apartment are not home. No lights were on and I had seen them leave early that evening. While I am folding my clothes I hear this weird noise, as if something has fallen or slid down. A noise that is usually accompanied by a guilty cat. So of course I'm thinking OMIGAWD did Xena find her way home!!!????
OH YEAH I forgot to mention, because I didn’t think it was pertinent to the story, but while living in this apartment I lost my precious cat, Xena.

Okay so, the noise, I’m thinking that Xena found her way home and into the basement. You see under the stairs is the opening to this underground tunnelly-thing that leads to other basements of buildings in the neighborhood and so forth. My other cat went under there once, freaked me out.

So I leave the laundry to look for Xena, because I’m praying that the noise came from her! Well of course I see nothing and then I realize that I'm going to have to start opening doors to search in rooms. And knowing my cat could be in one of the rooms starving, I decide I must do it. Mind you it's 11pm, the building is VERY quiet, I’m in a basement and, of course, it's just begun thundering and lightening out! Yeah. So I'm already freaked...

But I tell myself it’s silly to be scared because the absolutely only thing that could be behind these doors is Xena. I'm pretty calm and I open the door that leads to the fuse boxes for the whole building…hmmmm nothing, but it reaks like gas. Deciding not to get myself worked up over a little gas fumes, I close that door and go to the next: a storage closet that is complete with six separate little closets. Many of these have locks on them so I can't look in them all, but of course I start looking in the open ones, (in my mind I'm getting freaked out, but I'm breathing keeping it together) So then I leave that room and I have three more rooms to check out.

Boom, rustle, tap, tap! And another noise…it's coming from the fuse-box room…UGH I was just in there! The noise is still happening and is sounding similar to a tapping and I'm getting wigged out now for sure.

Well there is this little window in the fuse-box room and of course I'm thinking someone was on the other side! I cannot physically open the door. But then I remember that I noticed my landlord's workroom wasn't locked, like it normally is, so I think “Oh! Of course super hot landlord Ben is working late, hence the noise and the tapping!”

So I mosey onto down to the workroom, and I hear the tapping still and I think oh it must be coming from the room next to the fuse-box room, connected to Ben's workroom, and Ben's in there working away…so I knock on the door. "Hello" I say. I knock again. Nothing…hmm that's not like Ben. He's usually so receptive to my meddling and apartment needs….OH GOD BIG THUNDER ROAR, side note: Poor Kitty. Oh I wish I had found kitty, no instead I'm just scared as hell….

So I open the door. “Hello?” No one. The noise is now more intense. “Hello?” I’m actually in the workroom that has drills, wood saw-things, man-tools, etc. I peer into the connected room, no one, nothing, the noise is more faint now. It’s time to get out of there, but damn that is so not like Ben to leave that room unlocked. I close the door behind me and the lights flicker a bit, I look at the door adjacent to the workroom door, it’s the door for the boiler oom and the padlock is open. “Um Hello?” Nothing, the noise is NOT stopping, and it’s coming from the fuse-box room. I walk back down there. Stupid girl, oh but I do love the drama of it all!

And yet I am genuinly freaked. I open the fuse-box room and I see shadows and freakyness darting from the lighting and window. AAAAAAH!!!!! I run down a hallway, up four flights of stairs, down another hall and into my apartment, I lock all three locks. I stand there, I breath. I think ‘Dam! Xena could be there!!! And I did forget my laundry…..”

Okay so I creep down the back stairs, real slow. I am on the last step of the final stairs the leads into the basement and wooooosh, I hear soemthing, I feel cold, I swear there is a presence, now I run faster than before. Back to my apartment, breathing, freaking, scared. I feel safe, until, I kid you not, within three minutes the building goes black.

There is no power. I’m now in the pitch dark, there is lightening and thundering. I wasn’t happy. Eventually I fumbled for candles and I awaited for more freakiness, but to my chagrin there was none. And all I can think is damn, why couldn’t I have seen a ghost!!!!???

And reflecting on everything I just wrote I have to say prior to moving in to that apartment I really hated Halloween...... hmmmmmmmmm.

Good bye. I love you.

Important-URGENT

Toronto Film Festival Lacking Integrity and NormalitySomething that needs to be said by Jolene…please read ahead.
Casuistry: The Art of Killing a Cat directed by Zev Asher is one of the films chosen to premiere at the Toronto Film Festival Sept. 14. This documentary style film features the three Canadians, Jesse Power, Anthony Wennekers and Matt Kaczorowski, all 20-ish, who, on one Friday night in 2001, made a snuff film about killing a cat.
For 17 minutes, they tormented, tortured, and oh, so, slowly, killed a gentle, striped female cat in a Kensington house. The unlucky pet was later found skinned in a beer fridge.
The snuff film the men made shows that the cat was still alive while she was being skinned and her agony didn’t end until she was finally beheaded. Prior to the skinning the cat’s head was placed in a noose to keep her still while the three men stabbed her in the neck and body while she moaned.
Jesse Power, Anthony Wennekers, and Matt Kaczorowski committed the worst acts of cruelty to an animal in Canadian history, yet got only a slap on the wrist because of Canada's inadequate anti-cruelty legislation.
And now they're starring in a movie at the Toronto Film Festival!
According to an article from the Toronto Sun Times, featured in the August 28, 2004 issue, http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/TorontoSun/News/2004/08/28/605840.html , the film’s subject matter is exactly as stated and features interviews with the three monstrous young people who show no remorse.
The article, written by Mike Strobel of the Toronto Sun Times, says that the gist of the film Casuistry stars Jesse Powers, the leader of this grotesque act, proclaiming that the snuff film and what they did to this cat is “art.”
To set the mood of Casuistry, the film opens with scenes from a 1980 "performance art" flick, in which two cats are disemboweled and worn as hats.
[Jesse Powers] speaks first in shadow, then, as he warms to the topic, in full view. His bangs dangle sexily. His eyes toy with the camera. "Man, am I charismatic," they say. "And misunderstood."
Please Do What You Can So This Film Will Not Be Featured at The Festival.
If you find the film and it's airing as objectionable as I do, I URGE you to do what you can! Not only does the airing glorify what has happen, it will only encourage others to do similar, if not worse acts in the future….my instincts tell me that killing a cat won’t be shocking enough for next year’s festival.
So here’s what you can do…
Go to the film festival’s website, http://www.e.bell.ca/filmfest/2004/contactus/default.asp and email them your disgust and concern for them running this film.
Hey I am all about freedom of speech but this is not art, this just glorifies psychotic cruelty and a lack of compassion. These men work for the devil and within in time will be raping woman and killing babies, if they haven’t already… hmmm maybe that's the film they are working on for next year’s festival.You can also visit: http://www.freeanimals.org/ a Toronto based animal rights group that is planning a protest.And finally another thing you can do to protest the airing of The Art of Killing a Cat, email the sponsors of the Festival, listed below: Bell Mobility www.bellmobility.com
CIBC www.cibc.com
DGC-ONTARIO www.dgc.ca
Echo Advertising + Marketing Inc.
Federal Express Canada Ltd www.fedex.com
IFC - The Independent Film Channel www.ifctv.ca
Jackson-Triggs Vintners www.jacksontriggswinery.com
Premiere Magazine www.premiere.com
Sony of Canada Ltd. www.sony.ca
Starbucks Coffee Canada www.starbucks.com
Tanqueray Premium Imported Gin www.tanqueray.com
Toronto Film School www.iaod.com
Zip.ca www.zip.com Thank you so much for your time! I sincerely appreciate it!Let’s protect God’s creatures.
Jolene