Family

It's weird... I was a family with these special felines...and now I am alone. I miss my girls SO MUCH. My heart still aches. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Xena and I did with Honey and all I can think is did I say goodbye good enough? Did I hold her tight and tell her thank you and I love you? I'm sure I did, but that day was like a sad dream that I can not completely remember, and I can't help but think I didn't say goodbye good enough.

Loss & Life

It’s been 10 days since Honey has left this Earth to go to kitty heaven, a place, I am told by friends, is chock full of catnip and free of physical pain. I know she is no longer in pain, and I am truly happy about that, but my heart still aches for her. Often I look for her here at home—out of habit—and then I remember, she is gone. This happens a lot.

I have been going through many emotions; sadness, guilt, loneliness, confusion, and happiness. Yes I said happiness. Happiness because, like I said before, she is no longer in pain, (I had been worried about her suffering since her heart disease diagnosis in February), and happiness also because of my good memories of her and the loving support I have received from family and friends.

I have received numerous emails and cards of condolences. Today I received a beautiful card and the image of the kitty on the front looks exactly like Honey. One of my first thoughts, after looking at this card, was that I needed to display it in a safe spot so it doesn’t get shredded. But then I remembered: Honey and her habit of shredding paper are gone forever.

The worst part of everything, well okay not the worst part—the worst is her just not being here—but the ‘other’ worst part is the analyzing. I have analyzed the days before June 7. I wonder, on one of those days ‘did I forget her pill?’ For the record I was good at pilling her every morning, it became synonymous with brushing my teeth, but there are moments here when I have convinced myself that I screwed up. It’s horrible. I wonder if I had rushed her in the minute I thought she was just acting a little lazy from the heat, would she still be here?

But alas, she had heart disease, the end would have been the same no matter what, it was just a matter of time. My Honey had a good life; I know that through and through. I can feel her spirit hanging with me, assuring me she is happy and felt very loved, but she really misses me too.

Where there is death, there is life.....

On a much cheerier and quite interesting note, on June 14, exactly one week from the day Honey passed, I discovered a bit of life on my back porch. Near my 'tropical garden', on the floor of the deck, is an empty planter that has been turned into a nest for a newly expectant pigeon couple.

After a little research I discovered pigeons mate for life and both help in rearing the egg incubation period.

The male will tend to the egg early morning til mid afternoon and the mother will be there from late afternoon throughout the evening. I have named this pigeon couple Penny and Desmond.

Today I discovered something even more exciting than Saturday’s news. There’s a second egg! I will be documenting this of course, for all to see!

Rest in Peace

On Saturday, June 7, my sweet Honey passed away; she was 13 years old. My heart is forever broken. She was my best friend and I miss her deeply. The doctor tried to do everything possible to save her life, but her little heart and lungs were just not cooperating.

I can only hope she was as happy with me as I was with her. I do know she was the perfect cat, so sweet, so snugly, so adoring. She never behaved badly and always remained cute. I always told her that when God made her he only chose love and chocolate to make her, and inside of her was nothing but paper hearts of pink and red... yes I was obsessed with her and I am not one bit ashamed to admit. Like I said, she was my best friend, never ever did she ever give me grief, never ever did she treat me badly. She treated me like a queen always—how could I not put a being like that on a pedestal?

Following is a collection of the most recent photos of Honey taken just this past month.

This was Honey's favorite rug; a piece of 'swag' from work. The minute I brought it home she declared it her own.

This is one of my fav positions of Honey; she was always super chill and relaxed. I loved that I could be so incredibly loud, singing, and dancing around and she was, from day one, always chillin like a villain with complete trust.

She was also so sweet to placate to my foolishness.

I bought this hat just a couple weeks ago. I was so excited and I plopped it on her head; she obliged for a couple snapshots, but she was obviously not amused.

Here is Honey in one of her favorite snuggle spots, right next to my computer in the kitty nook. Typing and Internet surfing is not the same without my writing partner.

Again, my fav chill position, this time with her favorite toy: a pillow full of catnip. Hmmm maybe that is why she was always so chill?

My friend Jen is not a cat person, but even Jen was seduced by Honey. Yes Jen is the one petting Miss H.

Honey was always the life of the party and had to be in the middle of all the action. Sadly this is the last photo ever taken of Honey on May 27. I wish I had known what was going to happen. I wouldn't have left her side for one minute.

And finally, the last photo of Honey and I together taken May 24.

Rest in Peace sweet girl. Thank you for everything. xoxox

P.S. I am still waiting for her to come out from the closet from her nap, I mean she HAS to, right?