Third Verse, Same as The Firs-VIOLENT FEMMES---and answers to the quotes

(Answers for the movie quote at end of this post.)


Oy Vey! As some of you may have seen in my last post (and can still see below) there is a silly photo of me as a child, which has ignited old memories…here I share with you some of those silly memories, starting with one of my very favorite memories taking place on a day way back when in the hot Missouri sun….

LAUGHING AND CRYING
As I said it was a hot and sunny day in Missouri, I was probably five or six. My brother and I were “helping” my Gramps garden. Basically that entailed me getting wheel barrel rides while my brother hunted for snakes. Being from Minnesota, seeing a snake was rare, so whenever we visited Granny & Gramps in little Monett, Missouri, my brother went hunting for snakes—after all his dream was to be a snake-catcher. My brother talked non-stop about snakes, he was at the irritating age of eight, or nine. Gramps said he thought there was a snake under a pile of logs, and my brother should catch it and kill it as the snakes hurt his garden. I think my brother rejected the idea of killing the animal.

It was time to go get another batch of, um soil? So I hopped in the barrel and Gramps began to push to the “soil.” We approached a tree and there, right next to the trunk, lie a small garter snake, which I very clearly remember. It was about a foot long, small, orange with black stripes (Yes I have been told that is not the description of a garter snake, but whatever, that is what I saw.) In pure delight, joy, glee and fear of seeing something I had never seen before I screamed, “Snake!” Now what happens next still makes me laugh and, yet cry all at the same time. In absolute consecutive motions my brother came running , gramps lifted his hoe, my brother looked in awe, Gramps chopped the snake in two.

Or did he use his foot? Hmmm I’ll have to ask my bro about that one….anyway it was very tragic, and poetic. Part of me, most of me, felt sad for the snake, and mostly sad my brother. He was devastated. And of course part of me felt devilish happy, a little bit of me was laughing at my brother’s misfortunate. Hey I was a bratty little sister, what can I say? Well really though God Bless my Gramps, I mean he did say these snakes were hurting his gardens….plus the striped snake may have just been very poisonous. Gramps probably saved our lives.

FLOATING COWS
Lately I have been listening to old country music, which my parents used to play, well my Mom played. In reminiscing various songs, not all country, I found my old favorite song–and what a WEIRD song to be the favorite of a five-year-old child. It was Debby Boone’s You Light Up My Life. Have you heard this? It is actually quite morbid and sad sounding. I remember I had it on 45. The label was emblazoned with that cow logo that looked like it was floating in circular motions when you played it on your turntable. Well I played this song over and over, I even drew red stars on the label, that faded to pink, all to remind myself that this song was my very favorite. One day I was having a screaming tantrum, terribly upset about something, but I think I had done something bad and just gotten busted, because I remember running away from my Mom to hide, but all the while wailing. I raced into my room and slid behind my bed, right where I kept my 45’s and yup, my knee slammed right on top of the floating cows and faded red stars, snapping in half Debby’s beautiful, but haunting musical story… I was stunned. I remember instantly feeling karma for the first time ever, and as I slightly recall I think my Mom even pointed that out. I remember just feeling really sad and showing her, looking for instant sympathy and I think she might of said “well if you hadn’t tried to run and hide, that wouldn’t have happened….”
So true, so true.

NOW, I'M JUST A CUTE AND CREEEPY OLD LADY
So today I headed out of the EP Suites and was delighted to see my block decorated with red valentine helium-filled balloons and glitter hearts, even the giraffes and goats were merrily decorated, waiting for some statue love. I needed some fresh air so I walked down to the lake, after sufficiently bundling up. Once at the harbor I started watching the seagulls, or are they pigeons? You know those big, dirty rat-like white birds? Yeah well at one point I had thrown a stick out to see how frozen the water was and had noticed that the birds all flocked to the stick. Oh they thought it was bread. Okay so the next part of my story is proof that I am old, sad and creepy.

Feeling crappy for accidentally tricking these flying white rat things, I left the park and, gulp, went to the gas station where I purchased a loaf of rye cocktail bread, for three dollars no less! I wanted to make it up to the birds and give them a little bread… Well before I returned to the birds I walked over to the other part of the harbor that leads out to the main part of the lake. On my way back I notice some geese. Now why I decide to give these geese bread is beyond me, as I hate geese, they're vicious little psychotic nasty ostrich-like things…. But feeling bad that they are obviously looking for food I throw a little bread their way… MISTAKE. Within seconds the geese charge me. CHARGE. I felt like I was in Jurassic Park, except that I was really cold, on the edge of Illinois and exaggerating a little bit, but still I was freaked and I started running. Soon I ditched the nasty over sized birds and found the rat birds again. I merrily tossed the rest of my loaf to them and some passing ducks while I realized two things, A: I think this is illegal and B: I’m a loser.

THE ALL-NEW MATCH ‘EM EGGS!
Back to my being a weird child, I recall having quite the imagination, aside from believing that John Snyder, AKA Bo Duke, would jump out of my television and kiss me, I invented all sorts of shops, companies and festival games.
Such entities included the following:

---A dress shop, where I placed all my dresses up in the dining room and “sold them.” My imaginary shoppers LOVED my merchandise!

---A “business,” or company that I so uniquely named, “International Incorporated.” I was the owner of this company, but, and this still makes me cringe, I did not make myself the president, but rather the secretary to my imaginary male president. Ugh! What I was thinking? Who knows…

--And then, thankfully, from a more intelligent side of my brain I invented a carnival game where a player would pay 10 cents for the chance to win a nickel. This game was called the “All-New Match ‘Em Eggs.” The first “Match ‘Em Eggs” game was in my imagination. The game, I think was derived from my being “sent to my room,” for some creepy thing I did…. Since I couldn’t leave my room I would think of creative ways to get attention while abiding by the rules of staying put in my room. So I had a piece of cardboard that I decorated and placed outside my door. I stood behind the door, inside my room, and announced to passersby (Um yes that would be my Mom, brother and his friends) the “All New Match ‘Em Eggs” game was ready for players! The idea was, for 10 cents, you’d get the chance to choose a large plastic egg from a bag, open it, and, if the smaller egg inside matched the larger egg, then you’d be a lucky winner of a nickel!

My brother’s friends actually played this game.

So in keeping with my invention of games…. I present to you my latest “All New Movie Quotes” game, which is basically the same as the last two movie quote games.

Have Fun!

The “All New Movie Quotes” game, which is basically the same as the last two movie quote games. Simply read the quotes and tell me what movie it’s from, if you get all ten correct, you win a nickel! For funny stories, see after the game!


1. Ta ta ta ta ta day junior.
BILLY MADISON

2. Don’t touch that squirrel’s nuts.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

3. These matches are disappointing me.
200 CIGARRETTES

4. It’s for you Jim. It’s God.
THE DOORS

5. You didn’t screw up once!
AMERICAN BEAUTY

6. MANNIE!
RUN LOLA RUN

7. Juice by Sarah. Juice by Sarah.
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM

8. Oh he was, ah, a bit sunnier.
HIGH FIDELITY

9. No I’ll drink all the time.
MOULIN ROUGE

10. I don't want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me.
THE NOTEBOOK