Tchotchkeeper

On page 47 of this week's issue of Time Out Chicago, there's a small story about me and my design sense...Check it out!

DANGER

Aaaaaw Jen is so cute, but she's DANGEROUS!

Notice: Keep Out! OOOOOh she's such a pretty princess.

Circus Elephant

I adore this little guy...don't you!?
What's his story? Why is he so cute? Want the scoop? Then certainly check out Abode! Maybe you can help solve a mystery while reveling in the past...

Another Baby

The past weekend proved exhausting... Friday, my long-lost friend Stephanie and I saw Devotchka, which was musically wonderful, but still did not get this gnawing ‘90s song knocked out of my head. Afterwards Stephanie and I caught up at Matilda's Bar. Stephanie was one of my first friends here in Chicago. I met her at the Duke of Perth and at first we really didn’t like one another, but after having to endure two working nights side by side for a few weeks, we soon realized how cool we both were and began a good friendship. In fact, if it weren’t for Stephanie, I wouldn’t have had such a fun foray into my 30s—see Stephanie insisted we go out to celebrate my 30th in style. This same year Stephanie moved to Seattle where she stayed for three years, we kept in touch. Now she is back here in Chicago and I am happy to have her back!

Later that night, I hopped into Mario’s rock-n-roll cab...


You think there’d be some rockin’ music coming from this cab, right? No, unfortunately the décor is bumpin, but the tunes not so much. I told Mario it’s time to invest in a good stereo system so he can start rockin’ the Aerosmith. He does have a giant poster of the band on the ceiling over the back seat.

Double the giant poster, with the mini Aerosmith posters throughout the cab, throw in a couple Liv Tyler stories and, well pretty soon I want to see a dude that looks like a lady. Mario does seem to have a crush on Miss. Liv as he did recount the few times he drove her around Chicago. But when you press him for any dirty little details, he starts to get excited, and then immediately retreats, “oh no, it's not nice to say such things; I really like her." Aaaaw! Okay Mario, the music may not be rockin’, but I’ll give you points for being a sweetheart.

Unfortunately though, Randy Gerber didn’t see this side of Mario. One evening Mario picked Gerber up downtown, and while in the cab, Gerber noticed Mario’s poster of a wet and bikini-clad Cindy Crawford; he asked Mario “why do you have a picture of my wife up in here?” Not really thinking Gerber was married to Crawford, Mario started playfully arguing, "yeah right, she is beautiful." After further prodding, and not so playfully, Gerber asked again, "Why do you have my wife in here?" Mario then realized that this was Crawford's husband and just replied “Hey look man that’s a model, not a whore.”


If you want to hear more about Mario’s stories and get your own ride in the rock-n-roll cab, call Mario at 312/714-9608. His cab number is 1207. Oh and bonus, Mario not only happily accepts credit cards, he even suggests you use them! Now if only we could get little Janie and her gun in this cab, then I'd be real happy.

As for that song so delicately lodged in my head, well I made my peace with that little ditty...

Meow Kitties

Work has been real busy and just so rewarding...ha! Um yeah...back to reality... So I have been on deadline and I am preparing for my next work trip.

In a week I go to NYC for the National Stationery Show; this is my favorite show of the industry! Beautiful paper, adorable greeting cards, stickers, and, of course, the artists that created these pretty pieces are always easily accessible and more than thrilled to gab about their work. Like Masha Dyans (right).

I love Dyans' artwork, it's whimsical, pretty, and so intricately beautiful! Aside from her work adorned on greetings, she has also done T-shirts for both Target and Urban Outfitters, funky, fun, and colorful T's indeed.

Another company I love is Red Cap Greetings, designs and artwork by Carrie Gifford. Gifford's illustrations are adorably enchanting and some are just a wee bit dark. I love, love! The cards are all letterpress and include touches of color on thick paper stock.
Shown here is Two Scoops which, for some weird reason, completely reminds me of my parents. It's two silly, semi-dorky, but sweet people completely in love with each other enjoying a favorite pastime, eating ice-cream together.

Lucky for me I have made some good friends in the industry and do look forward to seeing them all again as well catching up with new acquaintances from last year, and meeting others for the first time.

Events of the show include judging for the Best New Products Awards, the opening night party at the Rainbow Room, and the reception and ceremony for the Louie Awards. Um, The Louies Awards you ask?

The Louies are the Oscars of the greeting card industry.... yes they have awards for greeting cards and people go nuts for the Louies! It's pretty funny. Each year before the event and ceremony I receive the big box of nominated cards here at the office—this is a good day. All the cards are considered the best of the best, and once the Louies are over and I have covered the event, guess who gets to enjoy sending out some cute cards every now and then!?

I'm really excited this year as I often try to seek out different cards to feature in my section for the magazine. I often find out about different cards and artists through a Google Alerts listing that sends me all the stories relating to cards. This one company I found has the cutest little creations! The company is called LeClair Handcrafted and the artist is Corinda LeClair.

I contacted LeClair to get a card in the magazine, and after talking for a while I mentioned the Louies to her. LeClair decided to enter for the first time, and guess what? She is a finalist!! It feels good to have just a wee bit of a part in helping her get more exposure... Of course it also confirms that my taste rocks! Ha! Okay, but I do highly recommend you checking out her creations! LeClair takes vintage images, reproduces them and adds embellishments, such as ribbon and glitter, and places them on pretty card stock with matching envelopes. So cute!

Like at last year's show, and the NYC Gift Fairs, I again get to try another (new to me) New York City hotel. Last year's hotel was a real trip! I stayed at The Gershwin, next to the Sex Museum! The inside was bizarre, slightly run down, and had a very starving artist feel to it.

The moment I got in my room I thought "nope, I can not stay here." I mean just that previous month I was at the Waldorf for goodness sakes! But as much as I adored the fluffy bed and plush carpet, the overall stuffiness of the hotel bored me, that is why I sought out something a little more exciting... and exciting is what I got. Warning if the hotel is very reasonably priced and uses the word boutique in its description, than indeed be wary!

I was convinced the bed at bed bugs. Lucky for me, the show producers of the Stationery Show also work the hotel and hospitality shows and in speaking with the media supervisor she told me about all the fun things she had learned about bed bugs. So once I checked my mattress and all was clear, I felt a lot better. Thankfully the place grew on me, by the time I left I felt like it was my own little seedy apartment in NYC. Just look at my room below, it even had hardwood floors!

Mean hardwoods floors at that—as when I was in a rush flying about the room getting ready and missed my pierced ear when trying to hook an uber cute red shell earring from Ms. Mingo, I missed and that floor certainly snapped my earring in pieces. It was very sad.

Ahhh well these tales aren't so exciting...maybe to me...I guess the point of my post today is this: I am busy, but I'm missing J's World and my five faithful readers... I will write more and am excited for the next couple weeks. I will come back bearing pictures of my new hotel experience at The Dream Hotel in midtown.....please may it not smell like the W that I stayed at last Feb... not sure what the attraction is to W Hotels, do you know they spritz all the rooms with this god-awful annoying perfume? Headache city!

Please do remember to check out my other blog Abode for the latest in what happening in J's Home World and more of what designs, artists, and random little objects inspire me!

xoxo
Gossip Girl

Happy Smurf Day

My Current Obsession

The CTA should love me. Because today, tomorrow, and however long it takes to finish reading 100 pages of a book, I long for my rides on the el. This is the time I get to step into the once real-life world of Dare Wright, and her eccentric, overbearing mother Edie. The world is glamorous, intriguing, and of course, because both Dare and her mother were artists, attractively tragic, but of course, oh so sad.

Yes I am oozing with an obsession, and it's all about a book. The book is The Secret Life of The Lonely Doll by Jean Nathan. My obsession has obviously something to do with Nathan's strong prose, but more to the point really, this book is about a cherished part of my past: an old favorite childhood book. Simply titled The Lonely Doll, written by artist, model, photographer, and lost soul Dare Wright, The Secret Life of The Lonely Doll is the search for Ms. Wright.

Think back women of the 80's; you too may have read The Lonely Doll. I hadn't thought about it in years until Nathan's book came out a few years back and I saw the image of Edith, AKA The Lonely Doll and a flood of memories came to my existence.

The book is told through a series of black and white photographs, taken by Wright, about Edith the doll, who was quite lonely until she met up with Mr. Bear and Little Bear and began her crazy adventures. The copy I had as a child was read over and over, I was completely enthralled, but I remember always feeling perplexed by it, wondering what drew me to this book—I never knew. There was something very dark, mysterious, and alluring about the book. In fact, it was considered 'dark' by others as well as there are stories of the book being taken off library and book sellers' shelves in the '70s and '80s, because some thought of it as a book not meant for children.

Looking back now I realize it was truly a piece of art, created basically by a woman that just plain never grew up and had her own demons to battle with.

This book, and the follow-up books thereafter, were Dare's legacy, and in short, her story. Dare's past was certainly tragic, but really so interesting. Her relationship with her attention-seeking, and uber glamazon, painter mother, and her relationship with a long lost brother, that was abandoned by her mother when he was only 5-years-old, is tantalizing. For example, for fun, throughout Dare's entire life, her mother and her would play dress up—a lot. They would create backdrops, special costumes, and fantasy worlds—not just when Dare was a child, but even when Dare was 40-years-old!

Even if you didn't read The Lonely Doll as a child, I highly recommend picking up Nathan's book on Ms. Wright as it's a deliciously captivating read! It reminds me a bit of Little Edie and Big Edie, another mother and daughter duo I am as equally enthralled by—check out my post on those two here.

In thinking of mother/daughter duos, I have to wonder, is Mama Turner and I as crazy as these ladies?

Does downing cartons of chocolate marshmallow eggs count?

How about shopping at Herberger's and Savers for wonderfully cheap fashionable duds? Yes I think so! Well mainly because we are usually just shopping for me—a little unfair to Mama, but I do love it!

Thankfully we are much more level-headed than these other crazy mothers and daughters, not to mention much, much cuter! I have to say though, just thinking about mothers and daughters, it's pretty wild how very different my mother and I are! I am loud and boisterous, I guess you could say a little attention-seeking? My mother, on the other hand, is quite reserved, a complete lady! I think I endearingly embarrass her often! I kind of thrive on it. Oh she is so cute when she gets embarrassed!

But....but, back to this lonely little doll.... I have to say, upon reading The Secret Life of The Lonely Doll, I am starting to get some some tribute book ideas in my head about my own little doll...
Little Jolene! Creepy? Yeah, just a little.

What a Country

Today I learned about the great word Jocularity (as a 'writer' that is an embarrassing thing to admit).

Today I learned that Sand dollars found on the beach are already dead, and that starfish are not. And, although starfish don't have nervous systems like ours, they are aware of things like darkness, light, hot and cold, water and not water. So that said, today I also learned that my brother, at the age of 9, psychotically and viciously murdered many poor helpless starfish.

Today I learned that the Precious Moments Wedding Island closed. I am forever sad. Where oh where will I have my wedding now? Must make new plan.

Today I learned that seersucker is coming back into style and Ashley will be wearing her Seersucker suit to work tomorrow. Yay!

And now I leave you with this:
It's Yakov Smirnoff in a Cosby sweater! What a country!

Crazy-busy-crazy-tired

Work has been real busy...lots of deadlines...it seems when I have deadlines I'm vegged out in front of the telly watching such things as The Way We Were and Dancing With the Farts, reading Domino, or my new favorite book Peresoplis by Marjane Satrapi. I highly recommend this gem of a book, then you may see the movie. It's a super fast read! Aside from that I am avoiding bill collectors, artfully living on pennies, and oozing adoration onto a large fat furry being.

But I do wish I had something prolific to tell you, or at least the time to really get into the things I want to say.....for example I have been a vegetarian now for well over a month and I'm really getting into it. Some people have wondered why I'm doing this. And it's really beyond the cruelty, well that is a major point, but there are other things to it as well.

I'm educating myself more about food and the choices we make. I would love to sit here and get into full details about this, but alas time, my friend, time.. basically meat is gross to me. I'm talking about the issues of the nasty hormone injections, the horrible living conditions and treatment of the animals, i.e. animals treated like products, forced to live in feces, being hung upside down, alive while blood drains from their bodies...also gross, is the fact that the people that are suppose to be policing the industry are the same people making the money off of the industry, so more nastiness happens, ie. things like bacterial growth, e coli, salmonella, etc. are conveniently ignored.

Even people's proclamation of their beloved chicken and turkey is nasty! Yeah yeah you are all pretty annoyed with me now, but I find it all so simple, basically do you want to put something healthy and normal in your body, or do you want to be put a rotting carcass in your body?

I would also love to then talk about the nastiness of milk ... yeah I can hear you already and what I have to say to that is "calcium my ass" The dairy industry has taken you for a ride if you actually think milk is a good source of calcium. You want a good source of calcium? Try chewing on a stalk of broccoli. Maybe you just like the taste? Baby cows like it too, which is a good thing since they are the only beings who should be drinking that stuff anyway... But alas I should shut my mouth until I have eliminated dairy from my diet entirely. I am really on my way, but dammit there is this creamy Caesar dressing that has me at my throat it's so damn good!

Okay my rant, for now, is over... aside from food, I could go on about my plight for the perfectly designed apartment, well perfect for me, but that is a headache I am not wanting right now either. It seems no matter what I do, I just can't get things perfect. To learn more about this adventure, along with my love of design, kooky home decor, painting skills, fav designers and more, please do check out my design blog Abode, yeah that gets as updated as J's World.

More later Gators; I promise!
Now go chew on an apple and some legumes.

Chillin like a villain

Actually I'm real busy... more soon from J's World!

OH! My! God! OMG!

Okay I probably shouldn't be writing this, because well in a way it's counting my hens before they are hatched, and also I look like a total dork right now, because my excitement has to do with a guy.......BUT..I'm just too excited! This Friday I have a date with Ross Gellar, I mean of course David Schwimmer! Okay you know a few weeks ago when I blogged about my seeing him at the theatre, well it turns out that that moment of eye-locking, hearts thumping, dreams dreaming, and future Ross babies being fantasized about, well... it wasn't just me getting all giddy.. I mean I was kidding around in that post, but it turns out he really did notice me!
That night he felt something too and sought me out! Okay thank God he doesn't know I have a blog, or I'd totally seem like a loser right now!!! OH MY GOD Ross. ugh this is going to be hard, you know David doesn't like when people call him Ross. But DAMN I can't help but think....I'm going out with Ross! Rachel's Ross! Ross the paleontologist! DOCTOR Ross Gellar!!!!!

A DOCTOR! So I don't have a ton of time, but basically he saw me talking to one of the theatre peeps and he investigated, well that is what he told me when I saw him TODAY at Borders.. I went to the Borders on State and he happened to be there and came up to me and told the story.. anyway, EEEK! We have our first date on Friday. OH MY GOD I REALLY think this is it! Like this is the first date to the rest of my life!!!! Can you imagine my wedding!!!??? Loads of celebs...and no more bills anymore..I'm sure he'll pay off my debt... oh maybe any family debt too... and the babies.. oh we will have so many babies... okay more later.. must work now for a bit, at least until I can quit to be a full-time wife.

Absurd

I just saw a report that due to the economy and this 'recession' many people are abandoning their pets because they don't have the money to take care of them!

I ask you, how how how how how how how how how HOW could someone so easily give up their pet? That makes me so sad! Please, if you have ever thought of adopting, now is the time, and what better way to fight this recession! And if you can't adopt, consider volunteering! These furry love bugs need us!

Miss Honey I will never abandon you... no matter how hungry I get, no matter how unfashionable, you and I will stick together forever.

Happy Peepster!

For Easter this year, the Chicago Tribune held a peep diorama contest; basically you create a story or scene, but the main characters must be peeps!

The originators of the contest were editors over at the St. Paul Pioneer Press in my home state of Minnesota! Loving the idea, the next year the Washington Post hosted a contest, and that is when I first saw the wondrous pics and uber cool ideas: think Reservoir Dogs 'peep style.' So when I saw that the Chicago Tribune was hosting a contest it was beyond my power but to create my own peep diorama. After some drama with some hardworking, creative peepsters, aka my super smart co-workers, and some mulling over of what to create, I had a vision and thus Dita Von Peep was born—an homage to the beautiful burlesque performer Dita Von Teese. Seeing the fun I was having, Frank got in on the fun and made his own Peep Diorama.

Dita Von Peep in her Peep Show Burlesque Revue; By J

One evening I had a vision that a peep was longing to live out its true destiny and be the ultimate ‘Peep’—thus Dita Von Peep was born. An homage to burlesque star Dita Von Teese, Dita Von Peep dons a tasteful peep outfit adorned with diamonds and enough lace to cover her bodacious bosom. The most difficult part of this peep diorama was the actual photography, I made the mistake of choosing a glitzy, glamorous backdrop, that crazily bounced light when snapping a pic, but, in person, the diorama is very cute with Dita the star. Men and women peeps look on as they sip martinis and smoke pipes.

American Peep Stars; By Frank

"I knew I wanted my peeps as rock stars and began to play with different costumes and ideas…eventually I came up with these punk looking rock peep stars. With the popularity of American Idol, it seemed appropriate to make my peeps an American Idol stylized band with a slew of fans. While it was difficult to get them to cooperate and keep them from drinking during the photo shoot, finally I caught the American Peep Stars at the height of their popularity singing, of course, American Peepwoman."

In the end, it turned out that Frank's peeps saw the fun was happening at Dita Von Peeps' cabaret... as you can see things starting getting a little out of hand... While the diorama above wasn't submitted, it was quite funny to see the different peeps interact with one another, sip martinis, share tobacco pipes, and have some good laughs.

Today I love

TOKIDOKI!

Tokidoki is the cutest collection of art work, fashion accessories, and toys all based on a quirky style of anime by Italian, yup, Italian, artist Simone Legno. Tokidoki, as Legno explains on his website means "sometimes" in Japanese. He chose this word because he loves Japan and what the word can convey.

He believes everyone waits for moments that change one’s destiny. As he says, "By simple chance, or meeting a new person, tokidoki is the hope, the hidden energy that everyone has inside them that gives us the strength to face a new day and dream something positive, that something magical will happen within us."

Oooh that’s so cute!

And you know what else is cute? Tokidoki Cactus pups! Love! love! love!
I also covet the uber cute new Tokidoki fashion bags made in collaboration with Sanrio's Hello Kitty. They aren't available in the states; these bags are selling for up to $200 on Ebay. Aye Yi Ya!

To keep up on Tokidoki, be certain read the Tokidoki blog!

Dear Ross

You peered deep into my soul; you brushed my shoulder; yeah you were with that pretty brunette in the leopard print outfit, but I know, you wanted to be with the girl in the pink tutu—that was me!

Yeah so my friend said you were really thinking CALL SECURITY, but I know you were thinking...."hmmm who is this raven haired beauty?"

Sorry I didn't telepathically send you my digits, but you live here, right? Breath easy, You'll see me again.

Oh yeah, to the rest of you, meander, walk, no, RUN to the Lookingglass Theatre for the performance of Hephaestus—a mythological circus tale! There are only like three performance left! It was so good, and if you're lucky you too may see Lookingglass co-founder David Schwimmer—but ladies, know he saw my soul and he now belongs to me.

And to you, Mr. Schwimmer, yeah you're real cute, yeah you're famous, yeah you're rich, but you will still have to woo me—just a little. I like chocolate, cats, movies, long walks on the beach, all that BS, unless if you don't—oh yeah, and I'm a vegetarian.

How was your weekend?

My weekend was great. As you can see I saw my friend Mandy and my crush, Zephron. Casey took us to some crazy party near Harpo, no, Oprah wasn't there...but Zephron was!!! That was my big outing for the weekend, that and getting some much needed groceries.

Did I mention I am a vegetarian now!? Today was Day 4. On Thursday I made some MEAN vegetarian Chili with fake meat and three kinds of beans, hot sauce, cumin, and other spices.. I'm telling you it was SUPER delish!

So I lived off the chili the whole weekend.. good thing I didn't get out much as my belly was a tootin... Overall, as the ice outside began to thaw, I wasn't feeling 100% this weekend anyway, so I spent some quality time with my television and good friends—both Frank and Mandy came over for movies and munchies. We watched Gone Baby Gone; they should have called that movie Don't Baby Don't.

On Saturday I watched The Interview, which I highly recommend! This movie—starring the absolutely adorable and gorgeous Sienna Miller and Steve Buscemi, who knew those two had chemistry?—will have you on the edge of your seats! Literally these two just sit in a NYC loft and talk for hours, that's it, but they both come from such different worlds and offer so much in the way of strong insights, pain, laughter, and how they relate to one another and the world around them... and both actors give stellar performances.

Oh my cobbler is done! I just heard the buzzer now.
It's Sunday night at a 11:45 and I'm baking a cobbler, from scratch!... um, does anyone know how to bake a cobbler? Cuz I don't know if I did this right.
Oh that buzzer....

My Head Hurts!

Oh My God! LOSTIES

Will they all start having bloody noses?!?
For anyone that watches Lost, WOW!

The scene on the phone was AWESOME!

But are they all in jeopardy of going crazy?
I love Pen and Des!
Aye, Brotha!

Rules of Enjoyment

Wow those Oscars were BORE-RING! Must every actress be so beautiful and perfect that there is no discerning one from the other? Um huge, fish tail dresses were all the rage! Boring… Cate Blanchett you may have left Oscarless, but you remain to always be a true original, always beautiful, always artistic, and always smashing.

Diablo Cody, on the other hand; you looked like a cheap whore, but I applaud you for staying true to your roots rather than getting Oscar-fied.

Wait, she kind of looks like someone I know… uh-ho.

Can anyone tell me why Cody’s Juno was even the indie Oscar cutie in the first place? And why the praise for Ellen Page? She acts like a one-dimensional 40-year-old. I really don't get Juno. It was cute, I did enjoy it, but was it original and worthy of Oscar buzz? No.

For a fun, original movie, the screenwriter that I really think should have won is Nancy Oliver for Lars and the Real Girl. If you haven’t seen it, maybe because you were too busy waiting in line for Juno, then I’m telling you when it finally hits the rental shelves, rent it! It’s quirky, poignant, funny, and full of great performances, especially by one of my wonderful, boyfriends, Ryan Gosling in the title role of Lars! I Love, Love, Love this movie!

Another wonderful movie that got shunned by Oscar is Julian Schnabel’s The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
I know I have mentioned this movie before, but for those that may not remember, this is adapted from a memoir by Jean-Dominique Bauby, the editor of French Elle, who, at the age 43 suffered a stroke that left him paralyzed with only the ability to move one eyelid. I know it sounds depressing, but when you put artist Schnabel behind the project, I’m telling you, you will not be bored or feeling too blue. It’s moving, yes, but also visually compelling and really gives you the sense of Bauby’s horrible fate through beautiful imagery and a look into Bauby’s imagination and memories.

Speaking of visual… Back to the glitz and the gowns for just a minute.

Trainwreck, oops, Tilda, good job on your fantastic part in Michael Clayton, sparkling little fun personality you have there, but dear me how you made the media weep when you won. For your hair, your face, and oh dear goodness me, that dress alone do not make gossip mag cover page material.

Like with many of the evening’s speeches, I simply had to turn my head. Deer in headlights accepted their awards, while nervous actors presented, except Ms. Blanchett of course: have I mentioned she’s perfect? The night was indeed filled with many huhs? Like why did the producers not feel the need to clean up what ever was on the floor? Don’t they know who these people are!? Why does Calista like old, angry farts? How does crap, like the Bourne movies get nods, let alone wins?

How is it that Heidi Klum always looks so phenomenal that the question of why she is even there is not a question?
I’d be curious to hear thoughts on Atonement, There Will Be Blood, and No Country For Old Men. Of course, here are mine! Let me preface by saying, shame on me, I haven’t yet seen There Will Be Blood, and it’s both of my boyfriends’ movie! Paul Thomas Anderson wrote and directed it, while my other boyfriend Daniel starred in it… delicious. It’s the one movie I couldn’t get to in time, but I have seen the trailer numerous times, and saw the Charlie Rose interview with Anderson and Lewis. I was really rooting for these guys to win!

I am actually surprised There Will Be Blood and Anderson were DA-NIED! I say this because the Cohen brothers just don’t seem so deserving to me. Okay first, when you win that gold statue freak the hell out like Marion Cotillard or the absolute adorable Once Wonder Twins. Don’t stand up there like you not only expected to win, but you also expect past wins, futures wins, and wins that aren't even in your category. Like I can see that one real fuzzy-haired Cohen throwing a mean tantrum for not winning the 2008 Figure Skating World Cup Champions. On the flip side, if they were filming this Henry Kissinger film at MSP, then they are just weird enough to get away with their arrogant eccentricity, I suppose…

Now second, was the movie really that great? Um did anyone else think that maybe cowboy Brolin should have just packed up his cute wife, that stash of cash, and move to Mexico PRONTO? Why stick around? Why go back with the aqua? If he hadn’t gone back with the aqua he would have been that much better off. Maybe it’s a lesson in stupid cowboys? Anyhow, sexy Chigurh was worth the chase! Well Cowboy Brolin isn’t too bad on the eyes either… All and all I just think a movie with a powerful performance by my Daniel, in a movie about oil, is way more prolific for receiving top honors than some cowboy flick. Am I wrong? Oh and can someone tell me why Woody from Cheers was there?

Okay I will stop the cowboy bashing and move on to a little story about tragic love…. Aaah Atonement. Where do I begin? Let’s see, first my instant gut reaction when the movie was over was that of absolute livid anger… no not directed at pretty Kiera, okay yes a little at that ugly, snotty little girl, but really my anger was for the RUDEST, most selfish woman sitting next to me; a woman I have named Clueless Blond Bitch.

Okay it’s that time in the post where we are going to have a lesson in movie-going etiquette.

Rule #1
Shut your pie-hole, only open to occasionally chew popcorn, twizzlers, and chocolate SOFTLY. All right you can also enjoy a healthy snack softly as well, but know that most people will hate you for being so healthy and perfect.

Rule #2
Turn off the cell phone—the whole phone, not just the ringer. Your bright cell phone screen on for texting a friend is just as distracting as any noise that phone will make.

Rule #3
Leave all children at home, unless you are seeing a PG rated flick. Period. Kids under 13 do not belong in teen or adult rated films. They will hate you, be bored, and cause noise that will be upsetting to other patrons.

Rule #4
When setting up your movie-viewing station, try and leave the seat next to you open for others if you’re noticing the theater is getting full up!

Rule #5 (this is where things start getting good)
If you are late to a movie, anywhere from 1 to 15 minutes, and it’s fairly obvious the movie is full up, sit at the closest possible available seat. Yes, your seat will be crap, but that is what you get for being late, idiot.

Rule #6 (And this is why I loath Clueless Blond Bitch)
If a 7:20 movie has begun, and you arrive at 8:45 do NOT dare decide to go to that screening; for one you will be incredibly disruptive to people that are engrossed in a movie that is well into its storyline; and, secondly, you don’t deserve to see a movie if you are not willing to see it from the beginning.

Now if you decide you are the only person who is worth anything and you are going to basically crash the movie, then here’s another don’t: Don’t walk up the stairs of a stadium theater, spy a seat, 14 seats a way, and proceed to walk in the aisle, all the while saying ‘Excuse me, excuse me, oh sorry! Excuse me! Sorry, ha excuse me!’

This is what CBB-yup that’s Clueless Blond Bitch—did! Now you’d think the drama was over, except the seat she spied was next to me, and full of two heavy winter coats from the gentleman on the other side of the seat (I call him Candy, because he had like 12 bags of candy). Now, aside from the coats; my purse, a bag of popcorn, and Candy's shopping bag also blocked the seat. CBB, true to her name, cluelessly barged through and jovially asked, ‘Is this seat taken?’

Mind you, on the big screen, our young, strappingly good-looking hero has just been showcased in the five-minute film shot on Dunkirk beach. So you can imagine I am shocked, and soon livid.

Candy angrily moves his belongings while CBB squats her bum into the heads of the people in front and her idiot stick figure is a vision of selfishness to those behind.

You’d think that drama would be over, but nope, CBB then proceeded to chomp chomp chomp her popcorn in my ear throughout the rest of this heavy, sad, and moving film. Chomp, chomp, chomp—oblivious to anyone but her own self! I was livid. Turns out Candy was livid too and when those credits rolled, instead of Candy and I having a deep, inward feeling of ‘wow, that was some movie’, we both began to berate CBB, who remained clueless.

Now a word about paying the ticket vs. sneaking in, and the theater’s role in the situation: Candy was certain she snuck in, which he believed to be the real issue; I said whether CBB paid or not, you don’t disrupt patrons that are an hour and 45 minutes into a film. CBB was astonished we’d have a problem with her rude behavior. Disgusted Candy and I exited with our movie partners leaving CBB in the dust, maybe, hopefully a little less clueless. But the question remained: did CBB sneak in or pay? Well I spoke to the ticket sellers later and stupidly they sold this woman a ticket. I said, “So you’re telling me, one hour and 45 minutes into a movie, a movie that was nearly sold out, you sold a ticket and didn’t think that it may be disruptive to other patrons?”

‘Yes, it’s money we can’t turn her away’ was the 20-year-old ticket sellers' sad, pitiful response.

So instead of learning about the dangers of snotty, precocious children, I learned about snotty, selfish moviegoers, and the fact that theaters are all out for a dollar—yes, I know, duh! But still that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be writing a letter to that theater!

Which incidentally means this post has come to a close; I’m going to speak my peace! Happy movie going!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My brain is frozen. My arms are frozen. My fingers are frozen. This is all about what's on my mind these days. That and, well let's see...
—Last week's Lost was AWESOME, I look forward to this evening's episode!
—Miss. H is doing better.
—Aspartame is the devil.
—My friend Mandy is making me laugh.
—Poor Foxy E just lost her family dog.
—At Valentine's, my Mom and friends treat me really well.
—I want to be a host on a cheesy game-show
—Work is busy.
—If super hot Josh Brolin would have just left town with the money, there would have been no movie.
—A better movie that deserves way more attention: Julian Schnabel's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
—Saw a great improv show; motivated me to start up a new session of classes come April.
—Victoria Beckman is Mayjah.
—The peeps contest has come to Chicago and I'm giddy with excitement; what will I create!?
—New York City makes me happy.
—I could live on chips and salsa alone.

The truth is, I'm just way too frozen to really think these days.... and busy on deadline..more soon, I promise!

Hmmm Red Food

So for New Years 2008, my resolution was to learn about Apples. Unfortunately, I didn’t take on this task as fully as I hoped, and now just normally choose Gala Apples while shopping—they're tasty, and hey, I do enjoy a good, shiny red food.

While I will continue to pay attention to what types of apples I do choose for eating, which is a lot more than I did back in old 2007, as an addendum to my resolution I will learn to make the perfect beet salad—another delicious red food!

Hmm I love beets. They are blood red and delicious, especially nummy when sprinkled with lemon juice and fresh goat cheese. Above is a pic of my owls overlooking my latest beet salad dressed with olive oil, salt, pepper, and lemon juice.

I vow to eat more red apples and beets, and eventually, actually, eliminate red meat, and chicken, and pork, and any other animal meat from my diet by 2009. Like those owls, I will not eat those owls!

Soon after I will eliminate dairy and then veggies and then sour patch kids....

P.S. Speaking of things that are red…Miss. Honey’s heart is doing really well. She is on meds and eating like the little kitty horse that she is… this makes me so happy.